Blog / How to overcome loneliness with community

How to overcome loneliness with community

Friends building community

Have you ever felt lonely? We all have stories of pain in our lives. But when we live in vulnerable situations without the support of community, pain can be magnified tenfold. While cars swept past and lights shone bright in the dark, Gorondo shared his life story with three strangers.

Loneliness without community

We listened as he explained how the tea seller community was fraught with violence, with fierce competition for the best spots. How he would spend his evenings, cycling around, selling what he could. And that when the violence got really bad, he had a place where he could go to heal before setting out once more to sell hot drinks.

Imagine that for a moment. Cycling through the night, selling hot drinks wherever you can, avoiding the pain of fighting and when it wasn’t possible, having to have a regular place to retreat.

But the worst thing? “Loneliness,” Gorondo answered.

Nighttime scene in a busy community in Jakarta
Nightlife in Jakarta

In communities all over the world, people live in vulnerable circumstances. Night after night, streets become beds as men and women lay down in the dust. Many elderly people go through the day without a single conversation. In an age of hyper-communication, the fragmentation of community has decimated relationships.

God didn’t make His children for this type of life. Which is why people like Gorby are being moved to put their faith into action and serve their neighborhoods.

The importance of community

In beautiful Indonesia, Gorby is passionate about serving his community. So what’s the biggest need?

“Loneliness,” Gorby shared. “I know some friends who look like they are happy but inside, they are lonely. They feel like they don’t have anyone. When they want to pray or share what is happening with them, they don’t have anyone to talk with.”

He continued, “When people are alone or feel lonely, we can do something about that. I just want to take these people and make sure they are with people when they are feeling low or lonely, so we can be there for them. No matter how difficult it is, I just want to be there for them.”

Determined to make a difference, Gorby started youth gatherings to build connection among the younger generation. When he met Jerry from Activate International, they started discussing strategies to mobilize more young people to make a difference in the lives of those in need in their city.

Group of people building community by playing basketball together.
Building connection and community through sport

“At the beginning, Jerry shared about frameworks to start serving projects and I thought ‘wow, this is my heart and what I want to do’,” said Gorby. “We were already doing something here with our youth gatherings but we could do more.”

“It inspired me. I know some people in other cities in Indonesia do similar stuff. When we hear from them and they hear from us what we are doing, it motivates us to work together. My hope is to serve people and to see them, to care for them, to get people to care for each other. Sometimes we need to do things first so others can see how it is done. Then we can serve together. That would be awesome, to see people serving their city together.”

Serving in community

Through training and coaching, this hope became a reality and Gorby and his team started their first serving project in October 2019!

Small teams of people went out to a nearby park where they spoke to members of their local community, listening to their stories and building friendships. Individuals like Gorondo were connected with local initiatives to encourage them to become part of a community.

Group of people sitting for a debrief session after serving their community.
Debrief session after serving the community

In an age where research has shown social isolation and loneliness to be one of the biggest potential threats to public health[1], creating these connections are vital.

Gorby is excited to see what will happen in the future.

“I want to see young people in this community to take action, to see them serve others,” he exclaimed. “I want to encourage young people and empower them. For young people to come together and do something together.

“I think it’s important to serve because I see something for young people in it. When we give opportunities to young people, God can use us for His kingdom. God can use all of us to serve. And when we work together as a community, we will be strong and powerful.

“I read in the Bible when the wolves hunt sheep, they always go for the lone sheep. They never go for the ones in the group. When we are together as a community, we are strong. There is protection. We need community because community allows us to know each other.”

By Roz Walsh, Activate International

[1] https://www.aarp.org/research/topics/life/info-2014/loneliness_2010.html